Join Date: May 2010
Curves more attractive, men say (article)
Over the years, many threads at this site have discussed the fact that men (i.e., heterosexual men) prefer women with curves. From the Daily Mail
comes the best summation yet of this premise -- written by a male reporter. The text is so good that one would almost think that it was written by a Judgment of Paris contributor.
It starts off as the usual celebrity fluff about Gwyneth Paltrow, but a few paragraphs in, it becomes quite a bold statement of size celebration. Here are the best passages:
Wish you were skinny like Gwynnie? Let me tell you, ladies, we men are turned off by skeletal chic...
By Philip Robinson
22nd February 2011
While Gwyneth, with her willowy figure, exercise addiction and macrobiotic fussiness, seems to drive most ordinary women insane with resentment, most men are oblivious to her wan "perfection."
We happily flick through the paper until we hit upon a small shot of Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks’ ample bosom, or Kelly Brook buying wallpaper while wearing a large sheepskin coat.
While Gwyn is proud of her taut, yoga body, men aren’t enthused. Men don’t hang around in pubs talking about how many sit-ups their wife can do. While shots of the stick-thin Gwyn might appeal to women, men prefer lumps, bumps and wobbly bits.
Gwyneth, bless her, has no jiggle. She is gawky and rake-like; puritanically thin.
To a man, this screams of neuroticism, a fear of being out of control. This is the opposite of all the qualities that make a woman attractive: confidence in her body, a love and lust for life, and sensuality — rather than an obvious terror of being even the tiniest bit out of control.
Women’s bodies change after they have children. They accumulate pleasing curves and their hips widen — but while women loathe the phrase ‘child-bearing hips’, men are instinctively attracted to this shape; a woman with a bit of meat on her bones is more likely to be fertile.
Just as I hope to become handsomely craggy and characterful as I age, I expect women’s bodies to soften; it seems like an affront to nature to see a mother all sinewy and wiry and likely to beat you in an arm wrestle.
Men are supposed to be stubbly and dry with hard angles, so we do not crave more of the same from our wife or girlfriend. We want women to be feminine, which means a slightly rounded belly is preferable to a washboard.
Your girlfriend’s squishy bum and touch of wobble might look less than Pirelli Calendar "perfect" under the harsh midday sun, but it feels great under the duvet at the tail end of a northern European winter.
There has always been a massive gap between what men really want and what women think they want, not helped by the fashion industry and designers who only want to dress women with the same dimensions as lampposts, whose bodies won’t interfere unduly with the uniform drop of their dresses.
Heterosexual men, however, are pretty simple and do not require women to look like freakish giraffes with perfect teeth. What men regard as a nice figure would astonish most women...
I’m a man...I want to go out with a girl who’ll eat her own bloody steak, with chunky chips on the side, without having to go on a ten-mile run and beat herself with organic birch twigs the next day.
Women who insist on a holier-than-thou existence are no fun. I’ve met the Gwyneth type at dinner parties, and heard the litany of their painstakingly dull macrobiotic, zero-carb existences. They are obviously proud of their etiolated figures, but look ill, sallow and drained of energy.
The problem could be rectified by eating and drinking normally for a couple of weeks — but the damage to their personalities seems permanent. More sinisterly, I often wonder if these complex, faddish diets are a cover for old-fashioned eating disorders.
It’s at this point men are often blamed, but the pressure it seems comes from within.
Here’s the problem: what makes ordinary women appealing is anathema to Hollywood and the HD camera. To be truly sexy is about disregarding all this shallow stuff and just living. People who make other people, themselves and their partners feel guilty about living, about indulging in simple pleasures, are deeply unerotic, even unlovable.
The article sums up just about every truth about how real men actually feel about women with curves.
As the writer says, men are not attracted to women who exercise, and we emphatically dislike the look of "toned" bodies. We find the fashion/media look to be unattractive, "ill" and "sallow."
The writer even correctly reveals that when men say that they love women with curves, they're not just talking about media-sanctioned features like a silicone bust or a JLo/Beyonce bottom, but rather, those very feminine physical characteristics to which the fashion industry is antagonistic: "child-bearing hips," bodies that "soften," and, yes, "a slightly rounded belly." He's right that when women's hips "widen," men find this "pleasing." When was the last time that a movie or TV program acknowledged that these are the physical characteristics on women that men find attractive? But it's true.
Also, kudos to the writer for pointing out that men don't want women who are tediously "in control" around food. Rather, men desire women who can lose
control around food and really indulge with pleasure. When the writer mentions that he is attracted to a woman who can "eat her own bloody steak, with chunky chips on the side," it made me think of the previous post about Vertigo,
which noted how Kim Novak's character (ideally gorgeous, and full-figured by today's standards) enthuses about wanting to eat a "big, beautiful steak." That's wickedly seductive.
Despite media lies, despite fashion-industry falsehoods, real men find women with a robust appetite and the voluptuous, feminine curves that go with it to be the epitome of beauty and desire.